The Joke Contest
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The Entries
#1
A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.
After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.
"Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry," they said.
The farmer replied, "Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me."
The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!
After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.
As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, "What's so funny?"
The thief replied, "The other guy is out there picking watermelons!"
#2
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking.
After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.
Bob says to Fred" I'm not feeling to good".
Fred says" well, we can walk back to the truck.
Bob says" yeah lets do that".
So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911.
The operator answers and says" 911, what's your emergency?"
Fred says "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do i do"?
Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead".
Fred says, "Ok".
The operator listens and hears a BANG!!!
Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"
#3
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.
After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.
"Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry," they said.
The farmer replied, "Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me."
The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!
After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.
As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, "What's so funny?"
The thief replied, "The other guy is out there picking watermelons!"
#2
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking.
After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.
Bob says to Fred" I'm not feeling to good".
Fred says" well, we can walk back to the truck.
Bob says" yeah lets do that".
So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911.
The operator answers and says" 911, what's your emergency?"
Fred says "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do i do"?
Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead".
Fred says, "Ok".
The operator listens and hears a BANG!!!
Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"
#3
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
